Thursday, December 6, 2007

I am trying very hard to be humble....

I really, really am...... But I have this problem, and it is really bothering me... Got a minute?

See, were supposed to be having this dinner for my parents tomorrow; it's their 50th anniversary. Its supposed to be me, my wife, my folks, my sister, and her husband. It was supposed to be a small, family get together because my Mom has been sick, nothing fancy, just a nice night with family. But my sister took it upon herself to invite this guy we've known all our lives, and he and his wife. they are driving all the way up from Florida.It is a surprise for my Mom. See, this guy, his mother was my Moms best friend for years, and when she died, my Mom "adopted" him, and since then has pretty much acted as if he was their second son (the one they're proud of). It wouldnt be fair to say I dislike this guy... I have a great, swirling mass of antipathy for him. I know, I know, I shouldnt feel this way, what would St. Francis say, right?

But this guy isn't my brother, and frankly I resent it that my parents treat him like family (sometimes even moreso than they treat me)! I'm mad at my sister for inviting him, even after I told her I did not want him invited. It goes way deeper than what I've given you here thus far; it has to do with me trying (seemingly in vain) to make ammends for my past slights, bungles and screw-ups as a son, I was not a very good kid, I did alot to make my parents angry, and try as I might, I dont think theyve forgiven me yet.

Anyone got any good advice for me??

UPDATE: Last night went off without a hitch, it was fantastic. My parents had a grand time(which was the whole point of the entire night), the guy my sister invited was actually alot nicer than I remember, and was genuinely glad to see me. I think my anitpathy towards him was based on how much my parents talked about him. I flet slighted, and it mad me angry. I see that now, and I want to thank you guys for writing to me about this! I am lucky to have found friends like you I can depend on!


UltraCrepidarian said...

My goodness. This is a tough one. I'll pray for you. I understand that kind of feeling, and it doesn't just go away quick, after you've been holding onto it for so long. When you can finally let go, WOW that will be great. FOR YOU. I know it will happen.


Barb, sfo said...

Hmmmm, maybe this guy is "your leper." Know what I mean?

I know the situation well, can't go into why, but I completely relate to what you're saying here. I will pray that you are able to find peace in the situation. I know it is going to be a hard road.

And a very happy anniversary to your parents!

Annie said...

Whoa. I didn't see this until after the fact, so lucky me, no insightful words to impart. And, the best part is, you had a great time, your PARENTS had a great time, and the past perhaps is being put to rest. God sure does have his ways, doesn't He?